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Toronto: A New Motto

June 23, 2011

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Since the most-recent amalgamation/deconstruction of this city-state-metropolis around 1997, Toronto’s official motto has been “Diversity: Our Strength.

That makes about much sense as the city’s coat of arms, which features a sunglass-wearing beaver the size of a brown bear. Now, while such logic-defiance does in fact typify Toronto, it’s all too subtle and idiosyncratic for a typical visitor or newcomer to grasp. Not until they come face to face with a City bureaucrat, at least.

We need to cut to the chase, as they say here in the east end. Get to the point. Break it down. Give new arrivals a sense of what may lie ahead in the nation’s largest city.

We could go back to an earlier model. Perhaps the Toronto Star’s motto from back in 1844: “We shine alike for all.” That has a certain ring of clarity to it. It still reflect this city’s absurd focus on all things inclusive. Sure, almost half the residents were born in another country, but do we really need kids’ hockey schedules written in 174 languages?

Or, Toronto could come to its senses and select one of my suggested mottos. Picture one of these on the signs coming in to the City, or in official brochures:

 

* Toronto: Perhaps you’ve heard of us

* Toronto: It’s my home now

* Toronto: One way or another, we’ll take your breath away

* Welcome to Toronto — Surrendering to Americans since 1812

* Toronto: A joyless sense of order

* t-dot: LOL!

* We straddle the 401 like a lap dancer on a preacher

* What happens in Toronto… stays on Bay Street

* Toronto: And?

* Toronto: Oh, we’re serious alright

* Toronto — Diversity. Digression. Indifference.

 

Related posts:

What’s the Difference? Mississauga/Scarborough

Tourists Say the Darndest Things

Great Canadian Beaver Quiz, #1 and #2

 

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Jamie permalink
    August 18, 2010 7:36 pm

    Hey, this is excellent. I just saw a special about Jane Goodall but your article is much more interesting.
    Also, love the commentary. Now that you are a Torontonian, it’s great to hear opinions about my former homeland from someone who was once a resident of my new home in Niagara.
    When you have a chance I’d love to hear your comments about the prospective mayoral candidates too.

    JP

  2. Peter permalink
    August 8, 2010 6:36 pm

    How about:
    Toronto: still wishing we were New York

  3. August 8, 2010 6:11 pm

    This is brilliant! Why didn’t you tell me about this before?
    I love the name of the blog. It couldn’t suit you any better.
    I have already decided to read it every day until I’m up to date on it.

    • August 8, 2010 7:43 pm

      Gee, thanks!

      I’ve tried to get traffic to this blog for some time now, and apparently — being Canada and all, I suppose — some Toronto-bashing did the trick! Thank goodness, because I was ready to go whole-hog, so to speak, and post crap about Lindsay Lohan, miracle cures, and weight-loss secrets.

      As Mayor Daley used to say: Vote often, and vote enthusiastically!

      Elizabeth Irreverent

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